Monday, July 31, 2006
after knowing that i should set my priority right and live a life worthy of him question is that how do i do it?
"Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma."
Ephesians 5:1-2
as i was asking God to show me, He leaded me to this verse. I know i can imitate Christ for He is perfect but what then does it means to be imitators/followers of God?
to do as Christ do? and this still link back to dying to the desire of self...
i said to myself i think i can die to my desire and do God's will...
God simply ask me can u love this particular girl that u always hated because I love her?
--silence--
because i cant....
Faith
10:42 pm
Sunday, July 30, 2006
pastor's message today leaved me very disturbed... the fact that a zoologist love the chimps so much that she would leave in the forest to help them adapt n be independent to live in the forest and just to teach them how to survive she would eat the leaves and ants so that the chimps would be follow suit and eat... it simply blows my mind when i think of this Jesus is God almighty but He would humble Him to be born as a human and die for us... it is thousand times more difficult compares to eating ants or living in the forest... yet i has always taken it for granted that Jesus died for the world to be saved... the death of Jesus is so significant and powerful but why all the while i never seen it and had always taken it for granted...
Why would Jesus choose to die?
Because Jesus choose to do the will of the Father and because Jesus love the world so much...
" and we pray this in order to that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,"
Colossians 1:10
i felt that God wants to teach me how to live a life worthy of Him and pleasing unto Him... to know the heart of God and to do His will and not mine... i am reminded of the many times when i choose to do things that i desire and want but asking myself again now i don't think my decision then is pleasing and doing what God wants...
Faith
6:25 pm
" i have been crucified with christ and i no longer lives, but christ lives in me.the life i live in the body, i live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. "
Galatians 2:20
everytime i read this i ask myself am i dead to myself and alive in God but i could only say that i am partially dead to myself and partially alive in God.... is that double mindedness?
often do not want to die to myself becoz of the pain...
but today pastor highlighted something... when a person is dead the person will no longer feels the pain... dying itself is not painful but it is the process that is painful...
what do i want to die to?
to needs, to acceptance, to desires, to esteem, to image
i feels tat God wants to teach me a new lesson about dying to myself fully n alive in Him...
the things that i always hold dearly and will not compromise He will teach me how to let go for Him.... i question myself when i say i love God will i compromise Him for other things?
i want to set my priority right... and in all things that He will come in first and before all my needs.....
Faith
12:34 am
Friday, July 28, 2006
A sudden urge to write about my life and my journey in knowing God...
My heavenly Father
The reigning king
He created man in His image
I am His precious princess
In my fight for authority
I put myself on the throne of my life
Not just wanting to be a princess
I want to be a queen
He was sadden by my decision
But He did not forsake me
In His perfect holiness
Jesus came to die for me
Jesus made a way for me to go back to my Father
He gave me a choice to be a simple princess
He gives me a chance to give up being a scheming queen
A queen whose kingdom is in hell
He showed me the fear that always crippled me
I fear bad prediction coming true
Darkness creeps in when I am not in control
Thus I enthrone myself as queen just to gain the control
A simple question struck my life
My dear, what do you want in life?
Always living in such a fear,
Of enjoy the freedom in My hand?
I do not know that's the voice of God
But for one thing I am sure
Never would I want to live in such fears
And the shadows of bad prediction coming true ever
Little that I may understand I choose to believe
That voice must be God
For I hear it rings so clearly
And it is so true in my life
Jesus I no longer want to live in fear
My life now belong to You
Take me to Your kingdom of light
Show me that You are always in control
Step by step His lights enter
I see His glory and His love
He is always in control
Never will He let me go
Now I walk in the glory of my king
Dancing in the freedom that He promise
Drinking of his love each day
My life is complete once again
Faith
11:51 am
