Tuesday, July 31, 2007

someone used one word to describe me...
i guess it was a very appropriate word... SNOBBISH....
haha... he was telling me tat was the first impression i gave him....
and i guess in fact everyone in the office thinks so just tat they din noe tat i am actually a siao kia in disguised....
i have decided the date i want to leave work... i just dont feel like working there anymore....
i am tired and sick of waiting...
i just hate that kind of feeling... i do not want to have this kind of feeling anymore...
can someone just give me a break....

Faith
10:02 pm

Sunday, July 29, 2007

the boy that has caused me sleepless nights.... baby reyes....
the new inclusion into my family and he is my nephew....
he is super cute but he dun likes to sleep at night and only likes to sleep in the day....
i think i shld learn to love him.... despite the fact tat he is always hungry and always cries at night just to get his ah ma to feed him milk....

super disgused by my bro and his wife... its their child and they because they look after for a night and nv get to slp they push to my mum to look after and they could have a gd slp but what abt us... they only care abt themselves... selfish buggers.... everything they do is abt themselves... i pity the baby for having such parents... and thou my dad is the grandpa... but i think he is more like the dad to the baby... because my dads is feeding everyone in the family from my brother to his wife to his baby... haiz... poor dad...

Faith
9:19 pm

Friday, July 27, 2007

yet another cold day....
i am tired and cold...
things doesnt may not be what it appears to be...
going deep just causes more cans of worms to be opened...
so do u keep the cans thinking that there are treasures inside and fool urself? or do u open up the cans and realise that there are worms inside and throw it away?
whatever it is when the choice is made do not regret....

i finally saw benne...
because i was working OT today....
first time leaving the office so late... and it funny... for the whole morning i was rather free but no one message me... than when i was super busy and trying my best to rush out so the things so tat i could keep to my promise than i said i would finish everything within 2 hrs OT... everyone started messaging me... lol...

i am officially promoted to aunt rank on 25th june... but sianzation...
tiny mini baby totally great contrast to my fat and big brother...

Faith
8:23 pm

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

i went to the arcade today...

kinda like stress relief but not for me lah... the eating part was stress relief for me...

ok back to arcade... it was kinda last minute... was using msn after dinner and saw suddenly chat wth someone and it happens that he was coming to bugis and well we just arrange to meet....

perhaps the backview will give a clue as to who he is.... wenz remember the basketball machine... haha.... i feel so shameful because my skill sucks.... ryan was like so into his game that he din even realise i was there taking his pic...

then ryan played the car racing game... wow... the whole seat moves and i was feeling sick after a while... the ride was bumpy... and i would nv seat beside him if he were to drive a real car... i realise whenever the car wa bang onto or whatever it is always the right side that i being hit... seating behind him is safer... anyway he was quite pro... and tat ego guy attracted alot of crowds looking behind us... and he was super high because of the crowd... he simply love the attention... he complete all 15 rounds... and i met kelly because she is part of the crowds ryan has attracted.... i lost contact wth kelly for like so long already so i got her number... and ryan ask if i am sure kelly was my friend when i dun even noe her number....

and we proceed for jelly beancurd... and never did i expect to meet another person.... i met eunice... actually i din see her... than i heard someone called yuan ling and i saw eunice waving... haha... we were eating jelly beancurd at 2 different store... surprise surprise... and ryan was laughing because he felt i would not have noe eunice number and he guess correctly....

so nice to meet my old friend... havent seen him for so long... the last time i saw him was during fiona's 21st birthday and now fiona is almost 22 in another few weeks time... and time really flies we have known each other for 4 yrs plus already...

Faith
10:16 pm

Monday, July 23, 2007

its so freaking cold today....
meeting long for lunch tml...
going to code what wenz said...
"if everything dun feel right in the beginning, i wouldn't start... i don't know about others... but don't you want to be with someone whom you love and felt happy with for the rest of your life? if you can't see any future... why hurt each other more by going through a year of relationship and finally end it off..."
omg... wenz u gave me a wake up call....
i am in a dilemma....

Faith
8:09 pm

Sunday, July 22, 2007

i think i am an autistic kid...
miss eng is studying abt autism... and there are 3 very clear signs of autism...
like doesnt communicate with ppl... cannot accept words like wrong, no and will turn violent... and will be in the world of my own and very excited on talking abt the things i like and dun care abt others....

long i finally agree with u tat i am a perfectionist... i always dun agree with u because my perspective of perfectionist was doing everything to flawless standard... but suddenly realise u actually dun mean that... yes i am perfectionist... i dun need everything to be flawless but everything has to be up the the standard i want... and if things are not to my standard i would rather not want... even if it is close to my standard of expectation....

i tot i went to church very late today... i left home only at 12.45 but i still end up getting to church early... last week i met jimmy... this week i met max.... haha... he actually remembered me... we only met once when amos introduced us during the enrolment service....

Faith
8:41 pm

Saturday, July 21, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIWEN....
ok i suposely waited until 12 am then i post this post just to make it posted on ur actual birthday...

haha... i think it was kinda weird because we din interact wth ur friends at all...

and we were like 3 unsociable autistic kid playing on our own...

oh and it was such a surprise to see kian loong there...

oh boy he actually recognise me... and thanks to the 3 of u who tell me tat i am slow when i said hi to him... i din even noe he stood there for quite a while already... see wenz i was so focus in the duty that u have tasked me to do...

haha and stupid mao actually used the ice on the hotdog to throw on me and started the fight between me and tze... and hehe... i think i won because he smells like crabmeat plus hotdog? and well the 2 guys gang up and bully me... wth... and mao thanks ar for throwing the ice onto my face... and makes me feel like using ur shirt to clean my face... and end up being ELBOWED by u...

mao u noe y i said we are only 3... coz i think i will always kanna elbowed or bullied by the 2 of u wth him around... now its wenz and me bullying u... its better this way isnt it.... we shld be love and taken care of not for u to bully....

and ur dangerous watch has scatch my hand again... the 2nd time i see u wth tat watch also the 2nd time i kanna scratch by u wth the watch... pain lah...

tze said he will take mrt to town... but haha... in the end also being coax by me and force him to go bugis wth me... lol... then we were deciding on where to go and we happened to see this tall wedding cake... which was claim to be singapore tallest wedding cake.... ok tats a side track and guess what... we went to prata shop... teh bing and milo dinosaur... which the teh bing doesnt look good lah...

Faith
11:57 pm

Friday, July 20, 2007

today's date.... 20072007..... so special....

manicure made my day today....
i was going for lunch at singapore post and i realise there was a new shop tat open and i went to do manicure...
shall go and do pedicure there next week....

i am on half day leave next thursday... woo hoo...
wenz i can go for theory lesson 1 and 2 on tat day.... i wan to go u interested in going?

i finally got my picture from tze....
lol... i realise i cannot see my eyes in the pic... haiz...

Faith
6:43 pm

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Thanks dilys....
mao sorry lah... i realli tot there is Gelare there... ok i shall admit tat i am mountain tortorise ok... maybe mountain meow tortorise....
and we really din mean to make u wait so long de... all thanks to tat gal in front of us asking so many questions... and i realli think tat in the end she did not sign up for the driving lessons due to som problem....

ok compliments to mao... the watch is quite stylo milo...
but dangerous weapon... coz the edges are so sharp... lol...
food food food... i love food.... i need food.... =)

Faith
8:42 pm

Sunday, July 15, 2007

I feel that i am all alone fighting the battle...
and i am losing the battle...
perhaps i have failed the test that God has given me this time round....

Faith
8:19 pm

wenz please take care of urself and get well soon...
Thank you Cynthia... i like the gift u got from Greece and thank u for tat timely hug...

stupid me... i actually hurt my fingers yesterday while i was trying to lock the door...
and the whole piece of skin on my finger came out... blood just flow and din stop... but the funny thing is now the skin like grown back already and the there are like blood below the skin... ok super digusting... but the picture of my hand is quite alrite... than i put a super cute snoopy plaster on my finger yesterday... and i had to change like 2 plaster within 10 mins... tats the amount of blood... but i think i am like super happy to be hurting myself because of the cute plaster... lol... i am weird...super digusting and i couldnt help thinking abt hurting myself again when i open the door today...

on my ride home from church today i was just counting the amount of years that i had been a christian... it took me a long while to actually realise that i have been a christian for 3 and a half years and it went back to abt 8 yrs ago when i first come across the gospel....

in all my 3 yrs plus being a christian i went thru difficult time with my parents and friends... their objection and stuff and i walk thru them with God and never had i wanted to give up... but now i guess to many ppl it seems alot easier to walk thru this crisis with Him but i found it real hard and i am on the verge of giving up... people claim to understand what i am going thru and tell me what i am going thru is nothing and whatever they claim i am... to me all these word are just noise because u nv been thru it how would u noe what i am feeling... saying is all easier unless u went thru it urself... life in these aspect has always been smooth sailing for u ppl... i wish i could just tell u ppl ur words hurt... give a thought for my feeling... i choose not to talk not because i am in th wrong tats y i din wan to talk... i choose not to talk because i felt that there is realli nothing tat i could say... no matter how much i said u wont understand and i dun wan to add trouble to u since u wont understand anyway...

thankful thou for ppl who doesnt probe me further... simple gesture i am touched... not that i dun want just that i cant... maybe i had not try but its all between me and my saviour... its been 3 weeks and i know i cant avoid anymore... i am trying just give me more time... forcing me doesnt help me it just makes me want to run away further...

Faith
5:10 pm

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

stressful season of life....
where darkness creeps into my life....
i can feel the stress tat is building up in me...
endless work tat has been accumulating at work... and it just gets more and more even thou how hard i tries to clear them... say if i clear 50 biodatas today and another 100 biodatas has accumulated today... sianz....
dilys and doris i am sorry... we might need to postpone the HQ trip to next sat... lets put it this sat first if i need to postpone i will sms u gals... coz my boss might need me to work OT on sat but will only noe on fri so tentitively i can still make it to HQ this sat....
there are still badge claims that i need to clear all the forms and admin stuff... and i cant even figure out what i should fill in those forms... i totally cannot remember what were the activities done for the certain badge work... haiz.... and after the claims has been submit and the badge is out then another trip to HQ?

sianz my personal life has got so much that isnt clear yet as well...
what do i want to do? whats my plans for the next 5 yrs?
i have just open up a can of worm and what am i going to do abt it... just leave tat can of worms there and allows more worms to grow? am i going to find a full time job?
everything sucks... i am sick of my life....

long i am really amazed with u... i havent been in contact with u for a while and u actually know tat i am super troubled and din even come to ask me for help when u needed... i had to know thru other ppl tat u needed help... this is kinda sad lah... but thanks for telling me tat u are always a call away from me if i need and for being considerate towards me... haha... friends are always better... =)

Faith
7:08 pm

Monday, July 09, 2007

i am working right now... but i just felt the need to blog to help me process my thoughts...
dunno why i just cant seems to be thinking without typing out some of my processes....
i am still listening to the song "owner of my heart" and its for the 2nd day already... wonder why i did not get sick of this song.....
alot of thoughts has been flying through my head...
i just cant stop thinking abt them and i want an answer to everything...
the conversation with bee has been burdening me...
perhaps right from the start if i had been logical i wont be writting this post today and i wont be having all that irritating feelings now.... I shall be logical from today onwards....
i think i really know what i needed to do already and i have made up my decision....
whatever it turns out i will face the consequences....
read mcken's blog... and i am kinda jealous of what he wrote... how i wish i could write that phrase of word as well... Blessed by the one above...
sianz....

Faith
2:48 pm

Sunday, July 08, 2007

i am having this sianzation knowing that today is sunday and tml is monday again... y is weekend always so short...
well at least i did had a good dinner and jelly beancurd with bee yesterday...
the good thing is i had a full day to rest today....
haha... wenz i also nv go church today lah... wasnt feeling well too....
but i still felt today was a fruitful day... i manage to do certain things tat i nv had a chance to do and i think it was a divine timing...
i am hardly at home on sunday and i nv get to enjoy the sunday breeze in my house.... din noe that sunday at home just felt so peaceful... of course with whole family not being at home... mum and dad just came back from thailand this morning at abt 5 am... and they just cant sit still at home now they are out to JB to do shopping....

announcement for meow empire...
when are we going to eat again? this week?

i am trying to be emo and listening to 1 song for the whole day....
i doubt anyone here would have heard the song before...

If you think I've let you down
Tried to fool you
There's no need to
If you think
I've played around
Why do you worry
You should know me
I've been true, right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

If you look straight in my eyes
You will know I'm not pretending
I don't hide, there's no disguise
Why you doubt me, that's a strange thing
I've been true, right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

I can't just stand by
watching you walk away
Knowing you still belong with me
Close by my side
You think I don't care,
But forever, I swear
Ooh, my love has grown stronger
And that I can't hide
I've been true right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

No one can tell me'cause I know for sure
When I'm not with you, baby
I feel I'm wasting my time
I'll do anything that you want me to do
Ooh, just call out my name, can't she
Give me a sign

If you just give me some time
To convince you
We can pull through
Let me see what's on your mind
I won't change youI don't have to
I've been true right from the start
You're the owner of my heart

Faith
5:33 pm

Saturday, July 07, 2007

again i am amazed by myself... i survive without blogging for 2 days...
haha... simply because i din noe what to blog... work is the same everyday with all the uncles...
and i am slacking more and more by going adhoc with my boss... which i aint suppose to go coz i am admin officer... going for coffee breaks with those uncles because they say over working makes one ineffective and inefficient...
the company has some fun stuff going on yesterday... so there was free massage provided for us at the recreational lounge... they sell chocolates at cheap price and everyone in the department brought lots of chocolate and it was simply chocolate eating day yesterday and we were indulging with chocolates until we were extremely full and of course happy because chocolate has this thing tat will makes ppl happy and high... rite dilys? and that is when u dun consider the amount of fats and calories that u have just pop into your mouth....

bee i love you so much... you are always a call away... and i can just call u to talk when i needed to... hehe... but so sorry that u had to sleep late because of my call last nite... and u were correct that i woke up late for GB... but it wasnt because i could not wake up... i just din wan to get out of my bed... it was raining so heavily and it was so nice to sleep... i woke up at 7.45 and if i could push myself out of bed i would be there on time or even earlier.... than i receive miss lee sms that she wil meet us at 8.30 instead so i throw myself back to lala land thinking there i could wake up at 8 and i nv got out of the bed until 8.15..... my eyes feel so swollen.... and i just dun feel liks bringing and umbrella out... i wanted to walk in the rain but again i dun wan to freeze to dead or anything...

we had balloon sculpting lessons today and it was kinda relax for us coz the 61st company girls were doing everything for the balloon sculpting... miss lee, grace, doris, dilys and myself were just slacking in front and doing out own balloon sculpting... and i guess we ended up making different things from what the girls is doing....

and dilys got super high after Mr. Patrick was made out from the balloons...
but Mr. Patrick is abit wrong in his dressing today... he is yellow instead of pink....

because Mr. Patrick is dily's prince charming so he gets to ride on the blue dog that dilys has made...
i think doris gonna kill me for the next picture....

miss lee made a purple flower for doris because she likes purple...

haha yes it is a purple flower on doris's head...

and miss lee clip it on doris's head....

and i made a flower for my Mr. Honey...

haha... dilys has her Mr. onion and Mr. Patrick... i shall have Mr. Honey...

wait till i figure out a picture or a character for Mr. Honey i will show u gals...

lol... and so i had to rehearsal on how i should give the flower to Mr. Honey....

a big wide smile?

or act shy?

haha... and miss see say i am "zi lian" for taking picture of myself...

whats the problem with tat?
have u all got a problem with me loving myself.... LOL!!!!!

then it was sakae sushi for lunch...

woo hoo... i havent had that for a long while... and we had some talk...

but i tot it was quite funny when we talk abt certain issues...

perhaps i was over reacting as to the issues arised... but i still felt that such things shld not be happening... love at first sight just doesnt make any sense to me.... maybe i really am over reacting... correct me if i am wrong in whatever that i have said....

Faith
2:25 pm

Sunday, July 01, 2007

its gonna be monday again tml....
abit sianz thinking that i need to wake up early and stuff and there is visit by CEO tml...
but working is kinda fun so it compensate a little....
weekend is like so so so short...
and i feel so helpless....
today is abit different from my usual sundays...
i woke up at 9 plus to prepare so tat i can reach stamford by 11 to fetch the 2 girls together wth doris to lavender and then to church...
havent been up so early on sun already... church starts at 1.30 so its normal for me to wake up at 12 on sunday... and i havent reach church so early for so long... we reach church at 11 plus i think... had enrolment service today.... i feel so tired and moody...
gosh.... i dun even noe what today's sermon was abt.... when i got back to my seats after the pledge taking it was already like i dunno what he was talking abt already... than the girls want to go toilet and i went wth them... and totally miss the last point... well, its a 3 point sermon.. i miss half of 1st point and abit of 2nd point and the whole of 3rd point... i am left with... i also dunno what lah... i shall go and listen to online sermon...
i went shopping again.... and i manage to buy stuff today... but it was super tiring... i think wenz was very tired walking with me for the whole evening... thks gal...
oh u noe what time i reach cityhall... i reach there at 4.45 lah... than while waiting for u i ate 2 bread lah....
haha... i hate that china lady... she sucks.... talk as if i got no money to do nails there... and haha... now i realise i noe her boss... the owner of that shop is the uncle tat owns the cd shop at bugis village... i am going to complain....
i cant wait for us to go eating soon....
or maybe the next shopping spread....
we go the driving centre on tue, wed, thur or fri?

Faith
10:46 pm